Today is a BIG day for me, my e-Book called “Todays Caregivers Guide: A Guide for the Preparation of the Inevitable” has set a new record in sales. Not only that, but I got a lot of positive feedback from YOU, which made me so happy.
Now I would like to thank you with today’s little article, hope you will benefit from it:

No one ever knows how hard acting as a caregiver is until they have actually had to do it themselves. Once you become a caregiver, your life is no longer your own. It is certainly very much like having a child, but it also brings with it the extra stress. You are often watching a loved one deteriorate physically and mentally before your eyes. The toll it takes on you is physical as well as emotional, and most caregivers find that they carry the entire burden of the caregiving themselves. To provide good care for your loved, however, you need to be good to yourself and try to make the caring process as stress-free as possible. These tips and helpful hints will guide you in making the caring process go as smoothly as it can, do you can look after yourself and your patient.

There are two main sets of tips for caregivers – those that make the actual caring easier and those that help caregivers get a little bit of relaxation and a much needed break. In terms of making the caring process easier, think about the things that you do for your patient that you might be able to empower them to do for themselves. If the patient needs help finding their personal items and then has no idea where to put them away, you can consider labeling drawers and cabinets with little notes that tell where everything is. Your patient will relish the chance to be independent enough to not have to ask for your help, and the note may also encourage them to put things away easily so you don’t have to go behind them and clean up. If your patient is bedridden, keep a selection of things they may need close to them, including books, TV remote, tissues, and more. That way they have the ability to get some of what they need and want without your help.

If you frequently take your patient out in the car with you, make sure you care is stocked with everything you may need. Incontinence is a frequent problem with patients who need care, so make sure all of the materials you need to deal with an accident are in your car, so you can deal with the problem swiftly and with as little discomfort to the patient as possible. Likewise, keep important phone numbers and backups of any medications in your car just in case.

Caring for yourself is as important as caring for your patient – if you’re not operating at 100%, you won’t be giving them 100% care. But carving out the time you need to relax and recharge when you’re the primary caregiver can be next to impossible. To make sure you get some time, first, look for the little bits of time you can steal to yourself daily. If your patient is napping, instead of running around doing the cleaning, take some time to read a book or watch a favorite TV show. After your patient goes to bed at night, develop a relaxing routine like taking a bath or unwinding with some of your favorite music.

When you need a longer break, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. If there are no family members or friends around to step in and help you, then investigate adult day care services or home health care services. You need to get away for your own emotional and physical wellbeing, so don’t be afraid to ask for the help you need. If you don’t know where to start, check out your local caregivers’ support group for advice on the resources that are available in your area.

Being the primary caregiver for an aging adult can be a very stressful experience; luckily, there are lots of ways to reduce this stress and to bring your life back under control if the stress has already become a bit of a problem in your life.  Some of the best ways to cope with the stress include options for taking care of your own physical and mental health, while other options concern the care of the person for whom you are a caregiver.

The most important thing that most caregivers for aging adults sometimes forget is that a caregiver has their own emotions and life to deal with even while they are such a strong source of support for a sick loved one.  This feeling of wanting to be able to do absolutely everything can lead to very detrimental results.  Instead of trying to take care of everyone and everything 24 hours a day, remember that you have to take care of yourself in order to be useful as a caregiver for your loved one.  The best ways to ensure that you are taking good care of yourself are to keep your life in balance and to keep sleeping, exercising and eating well enough to be full of energy and in good spirits.

If your mind is too occupied with the impending loss of a terminally ill loved one, or you are feeling angry or guilty, sad or in doubt, it’s a good idea to consult your doctor.  If your symptoms include loss of sleep and being worried, you should contact your doctor right away.  Of course, it’s normal to worry about a loved one who is sick. If thoughts of how you will support yourself after your loved one is gone have you awake at night, you should tackle the worry straight on instead of letting it get the better of you.

Your doctor can suggest healthcare providers according to your needs.  If stress has resulted in back pain, it might be time for a trip to the physical therapist; likewise, if you’re so worried that your stomach is unable to handle any solid foods, a trip to a therapist may well be the best idea.  In addition to healthcare providers, there is also the valuable option of joining support groups for caregivers of the elderly.  Such groups exist both for in-person meetings as well as there being online support groups.

Joining a support group can offer valuable support from knowing that there are lots of other people out there in your community or out in the whole world who are dealing with similar issues to what you are dealing with in your own life.  It’s not just with the logistics of being a caregiver that having some support is beneficial; it is also extremely positive to share the burden of thoughts and emotions with other caregivers who are going through the same emotions as you are.

Take time for yourself: watch your favorite television shows or rent comedy movies to lighten your spirits.  Don’t let yourself become isolated; especially if the person for whom you are caring is not fully present mentally; make sure to invite others into the home or to leave the house periodically so that you can interact with other people on a regular basis.  There are lots of people in the world who can help you through the caregiving process; some of these people, like friends, family and church members or coworkers are already in your life.  There are a lot of other people out there though who are willing and able to help you if you take the time to seek them out.  Don’t be scared to ask for help…everyone needs some help, especially when it comes to something as physically and emotionally demanding as being a full-time caregiver.

Emergencies can crop up regarding a loved one, particularly if there is a sudden illness or health issue that renders that loved one incapable of caring for themselves. While you may not need to quit your job to set up caregiving for your loved one, you will likely need some time off to initially care for your loved one, assess the situation and make plans accordingly. You might feel concerned about your job and whether you cannot take off for any length of time.

The good news is that the United States government passed the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) back in 1993 which provide employees who find themselves in a caregiving role the assistance they need to juggle not only their livelihood but also the care of their loved ones. The FMLA basically ensures that you cannot lose your job based on the need to care for a loved one. Of course, this act does not work to save your job forever but allows employees to take up to 12 weeks of leave unpaid from the hob without fear of repercussions.

Please note that the FMLA does not guarantee any pay during these 12 weeks and it is between you and the employer about whether or not you receive any pay. It may be based on the amount of sick leave, vacation time and/or personal time off (PTO) hours you may have accrued. If you have any of these built up, it could end up providing you with some income during your time off. Again, the payment arrangement is solely between you and your employers as the FMLA only guarantees that you cannot lose your job due to taking off to take care of a loved one.

With all good deeds like the FMLA, there is a down side to it as well. It does not protect all employees in the country. Therefore, not everyone has the opportunity to take advantage of it. Employers who are bound by the FMLA must be an entity affecting or conducting business or commerce. They must have at least 50 employees working at any given time during the course of a normal business week and also during the previous 20 plus calendared working business weeks. Subsidiaries or entities that are smaller than 50 employees but are affiliated or part of a larger entity also fall under the auspices of the FMLA.

There are some exceptions to entities with fewer than 50 employees and they include any public, local, state or government office and public as well as private secondary and elementary schools. If you do not fall within any of these scenarios, you may not be covered to take off from work with a guarantee to return to a job. Small business owners under 50 employees are not bound by the FMLA so you might have to negotiate with them in order to receive time off for caregiving.

Other things of note to consider with the FMLA is how an employer determines a 12-month period since the act states you can request up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave during one 12-month time. An employer can simply follow a 12 month calendar year which is the simplest or even follow their company’s fiscal 12 month year or even a 12 month period starting on your anniversary date. In addition, the 12-month period could be on the first day of when your FMLA leave period starts or even based on a rolling 12 month time frame that is gauged by counting backward from the date you use the leave for FMLA.

As you can see, there are quite a few things to check so do not always assume you fall within the guidelines. While you may not be able to put off your caregiving duties, at least by knowing your eligibility, you can negotiate with your employer about the necessary time off you need to care for your loved one.

The caregiver role can be quite rewarding yet it is also a challenging experience that not only tries you physically and mentally but emotionally as well. And when the caregiving lasts over a long period of time, the result is stress and a lot of it. You will feel all of these conflicting emotions that you feel guilty for experiencing especially when you have experienced such positive aspects in your caregiving relationship with your ailing loved one.

Of all the experiences you derive from caregiving, the emotional demands are perhaps the most draining. With stress held within the body physically, you can experience some relief with a hot bath or massage but what about the stress that resides in your emotions? You have to find some type of relief that touches your soul so you can rest at night and feel refreshed for the caregiving day ahead.

Each person needs something different when it comes to assuaging those emotional issues that builds up during your caregiving experience. Here are some problems you may experience along with some suggestions to consider for emotional relief:

1. Caregiving can tend to bring on a sense of isolation because your friends and family are out in the world while you are inside tending to your ill loved one.

Break that sense of isolation by getting out and taking a walk or a drive. If you have no one to relieve you at that moment, bundle up your loved in a wheelchair and roll them around the neighborhood park or take them for a drive in the country. Even a trip to the grocery store with your loved one in a motorized chair or wheelchair should help.

2. You might lack the time to engage in personal hobbies and relaxation time is hard to come by during your caregiving duties.

No one said that you should be the sole person caring for your loved one. If you are married, prevail on your spouse or even an older child to sit with your loved one and spend some time with them. You can then leave the house, meet a friend or do whatever you want. And best of all, other people are connecting to your loved one which means that they feel as if they are in the loop of activity and not isolated either.

3. You may feel that you have no one to turn to or that no one understands what you are going through. Overburdened is a natural effect of caregiving and you may also feel that you have no control over your life.

The bottom line is that you need to seek help for these feelings. Turn to a trusted friend, minister or counselor and talk about what you’re feeling. You need affirmation that it is ok to feel angry, sad, resentful and even guilty. Consider joining a support group for caregivers, others who have walking in the same overburdened shoes you are.

You have got to be realistic about the demands of caregiving and know up front that you are not going to be everything to everybody unless you get some help. Before you sign on as caregiver to your sick loved one, examine your home atmosphere, schedule and other aspects of your life. What would caregiving interrupt? How can you work around it? Who can you enlist to help when needed? Outlining some of the sources of potential emotional distress in advance means that you can work hard to avoid them during your caregiving tenure. That is not to say that you won’t ever experience stress but that you will recognize it for what it is and react accordingly before it morphs into a more serious problem.