What happens when you want to take care of your elderly parent but they live in Texas while you live in Oregon? Long distance caregiving can be quite demanding and nerve wracking because you are wondering what is happening with your parent and how they are doing when you are not there to see them. Whether it is one hour or ten hours, you have to determine the best way to take care of your loved one’s needs long distance without robbing them of their self-confidence and sense of independence. Here are some strategies to get you started on your quest to efficient, yet caring of a loved one long distance:

1.  Organize your thoughts and actions. Get a lay of the land so to speak and understand where things stand in terms of your elderly parent’s general health, ability to care for themselves, mobility issues, cognitive and mental acuity and level of care needed. Without a true understanding of the situation, you will never be in command of it.

2.  Travel to see your ill loved one. This relates to number one above. In order to understand what is going on, you really need to visit your elderly parent in person and see for yourself where things stand. Schedule an appointment with your parent’s doctor. Make it a point to meet your parent’s neighbors and who they are friendly with – whether it is someone down the street, at church or through some other means. These connections will likely be your lifeline once you return home.

By having some friends and neighbors at the ready you have a built-in group reporting to you giving your progress reports on your loved one. They can stop by your aging parent’s home to offer assistance and companionship. They can take turns chauffeuring your loved one around on errands.

3.  Use the geriatric network in your parent’s area to locate the local centers or agencies on aging. If you are seeking any caregiving resources whatsoever, these agencies are your best bet when your hands are tied at a distance. If you need to find a home health care nurse, an assisted living facility or even a group home that deals with dementia, tap into this aging resource.

4.  Get the legalities out of the way. While it is difficult, you need to speak with your loved one regarding a will, setting up a trust or even a power of attorney so that you can act on their behalf in the even they become incapacitated.  It is best to do this while your loved one still understands what is going on.

5.  Tackle finances with your loved one. A joint ownership is one way to protect your loved one. Set up automatic bill pay and online banking so that your loved one does not have to worry about writing check to pay bills and you can balance their checkbook and the account online you’re your own home.

6.  Keep a plan of action in the event your loved one’s friends or local caregiver calls you with news of trouble. Having a plan means you do not have to think about what to do when you are stressed by the call that something is wrong with your ailing parent. Your one thought should be how to get to them, not having to research several different airlines and rental cars online for the best deals.

7.  Consider relocating your sick parent close to you, especially when their health has declined and the need for an in-home nursing assistance or 24 hour care is eminent. You have to examine your options of whether moving them in with you is the right choice or finding an assisted living or nursing facility.

8.  The final piece of advice is to not neglect your own needs during the caregiving process. You may end up so focused on the needs of your loved one that you may not immediately realize the stress you are under.

If you care for a loved one that is ill, then you know that every little bit of help you can get is good thing. Caring for someone is a job that never ends, which is a burden for you, but caring can also be a burden for the patient themselves. Many people who are being cared for want to be as independent as they possibly can, but little things get in the way. Sometimes, it’s easier for you to do something for them than for them to do it themselves, which leaves you feeling stressed, and them feeling guilty. This is where assistive technology can enter the picture. Assistive technology can help make your loved one more independent and help make the caring you do a lot easier. It’s an option that has helped many caretakers and patients alike.

Just what is assistive technology? It’s really just a fancy word that applies to any number of devices that make things easier to do. There are two kinds of assistive technology – low tech and high tech. Low tech assistive technology can be something as simple as a cane, a hearing aid, or a pair of glasses. High tech assistive technology can involve computer programs and sensors that let you know when a patient with dementia is trying to leave the house, for instance. Just about anything that helps someone accomplish something can be called an assistive technology.

Of course, not all assistive technology is right for everyone. You have to look long and hard at the needs of the person for whom you are caring before you go for assistive technology. For example, a shiny scooter to whisk your loved one around might look nice, but if they are fully mobile, it’s no use. If, on the other hand, their hearing is impaired, a hearing aid can make a world of difference. There are tons of assistive technology devices that make things are difficult for a person who needs caring, like personal hygiene, easier. Velcro, specially designed clothing and more can all give them the ability to dress themselves, and in turn, give them a self esteem boost and a feeling of independence. When you’re selecting the kinds of devices you need, make sure you evaluate the ones that will be most helpful for you. It can be easy to get distracted by things that look really “cool” but they may not be the things you need. Think about the biggest challenges you and your loved one face, and look for devices that meet those needs.

With so many different kinds of assistive devices out there, the prices vary wildly. Obviously something like Velcro can be very cheap, while something like a hoist to help you move a loved one out of bed and into a wheelchair can be extremely expensive. The good news is that if you need to get an expensive assistive technology device, there may be help available. Many of these devices are covered by Medicaid and most insurance plans. Some companies that sell these devices will even take care of the paperwork for you, so you don’t have one more responsibility to bear.

If you need help learning about the different options that are out there in assistive technology, start by checking with the doctor of the loved one you are looking after. They might have some good advice for you. You can also check with your local caregivers’ support group. The members there might be able to give you advice from experience, including what has helped them and what products to avoid. However you explore this avenue, make sure that you do. The burden it can lift from you and your loved one is enormous.

Assuming the role of caregiver for a loved one can be challenging and with the amount of stress and aggravation that comes with the job, you would think that the caregiver would rather turn the loved one over to a nursing home or other organized care facility. However, the opposite it true! While the trials and tribulations of caregiving can be quite intense, most of the time caregivers are grateful to have had that time with their loved ones. They report that it is an experience they were glad to have, despite the problems – financially, emotionally and physically. For them, the positive experiences far outweighed the negative and they would choose the caregiving role over again over institutional care. Here are a few of the reasons why:

1.  Life and responsibilities get in the way of maintaining close ties sometimes with family members so when one requires the need of a caregiver, you should view it as an opportunity. Daily care of the loved one entails personal contact so you often end up engaging in long conversations about anything and everything.

There is opportunity to talk about the important things in life as well as the inconsequential ones too. You get to know each other better and learn about family history. You can laugh together and share stories about family as well as forge new memories together. Talking openly and honestly about caregiving decisions and what the future holds will cement not only those familial ties but create a newfound intimacy that is priceless. If there has ever been a time to reconcile differences or seek forgiveness, this would be it.

2.  Caregiving, while it may fall to one person in particular, still has a way of forging bonds with other family members such as siblings who may share in the concern of the loved one. Collaborating with family forces communication, first to benefit the loved one who needs care and then it extends into other familial realms. You just might end up learning more about your family and appreciating the differences that everyone brings to the table. While deciding on caregiving responsibilities can be heartbreaking and stressful in certain situation, it also has a way to bring families together.

3.  Making a difference in someone’s life, especially a loved one like your parent, can be quite satisfying. Yes, it can be tiring, emotionally draining and nerve wracking at times but at the heart of it all, there is a strong love and need to give back the support that loved one always gave you. You may view the opportunity to take care of a loved one as a gift because the time you spend with them could not be recouped if they lived in a nursing home or some other institutional care. Many caregivers report that their families benefit through stronger familial ties with the loved one and positive ideals and principles are indoctrinated in their children.

4.  A whole new world is opened to you when you assume a caregiver role. All of the sudden you will find that many others around you are serving the same role and you are not alone. Through support groups and meetings, you will meet new people and learn so much about health care advances as well as tips on making your job easier. You end up forging new relationships that could last for years.

Playing the role of caregiver can be quite rewarding. However, as your loved one’s condition starts to decline, there is a fine line between the benefits of caregiving on your own and seeking an institution of some kind that could offer better care. Consulting with your loved one as well as your family and the doctor is important. Conditions such as Alzheimer’s disease could end up requiring 24 hour supervision, something you may not be equipped to handle. Knowing when institutional care is necessary is part of the growth process for a caregiver.