It is quite normal to feel overwhelmed when faced with assuming the role of caregiver. There are a number of people in this country who are now taking care of their parents in their declining years. You may have actually been a caregiver for years without realizing it before an accident or event changed your perception. Do you feel you are even a caregiver? Here are some signs that indicate you soon will be if you are not already:

1.  Your once vibrant dad is now being plagued with a lot of little health problems, nothing earth-shattering or life-threatening – but enough to hamper his lifestyle.

2.  You find your loved one’s bank statements and unpaid bills laying on their desk unopened when they were once really diligent about paying on time.

3.  Loss of interest in the hobbies or regular socializing your loved one normally does. Perhaps your elderly dad’s workshop has not been opened in a while or that weekly card game has now become a thing of the past.

4.  Regular household chores are not being done such as mowing the lawn, washing dishes or fixing a leak in the sink.

5.  There is not an adequate food supply present to feed your ailing parent or they become inattentive when cooking or baking, burning food.

6.  Grooming has become slack and your once polished parent is now a bit disheveled.

7.  Being distracted and inattentiveness in your loved one are also signs that you may soon become a caregiver.

If you feel that your parent may almost be ready for a caregiver, talk with them about it. Involve your aging parents in the process so they have some input in their own care. Of course, if there is some cognitive impairment in your parent, it is still important to include them in the decision-making. This will make them feel included and not so isolated about their situation. Help them navigate the internet on the computer so they can read for themselves the positive benefits of caregiving.

Once your role as caregiver is inevitable, create a job description so you know what to expect from yourself and get your loved one’s input as they will be the recipient of this care. Get other family members, friends and neighbors lined up and on board to serve stand-by for those times when you need help. If you do not have much of a support system, look into local home health care agencies or companions, depending on your loved one’s needs. Be sure to stick to the guidelines you set up for yourself and respect your time off because you will need it to recharge your internal batteries.

You do not have to shoulder the burden of caregiving alone. Check with the AAA, the Area Agency on Aging and look for a local office. They and many other entities like them can provide you with leads on home companions, nursing assistance and even assisted living facilities or adult day care. Know what your options are now before immersing yourself in the caregiving role.

If possible, involve your aging parent in your caregiving decisions. If you plan to use an adult day care, take them on a tour of the facility to ensure there will be enough activities to keep them engaged. Interviewing for a home health care nurse, allow your parent to meet with the interviewee. This will give you a chance to see how well they would interact together.

Find a positive spin for all of these caregiving changes in your aging parent’s life. If a companion is coming to the home to help cook and clean, tell your parent that now they don’t have to worry about those two chores, they have more time to visit with friends or indulge in a favorite pastime. All in all, the most important thing you can do is involve your loved one. Of course screen all possibilities first to weed out the chafe but take into consideration your loved one’s opinions. After all, they are the recipient of your caregiving efforts and should have a positive experience.

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Thanks to better healthcare and information about nutrition and healthy diets, people are living longer and this means a growing population of seniors. With the increase of seniors comes an increase in Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, stroke, Parkinson’s disease and many other ailments that normally strike that age set. Not only do these illnesses prove debilitating to the person but the ripple effect extends to the family who now must take care of them. There are millions of people who are trying to juggle a career with children, their ailing loved one’s caregiving and other obligations.

You may seem alone in your caregiving duties but many studies show that at least 25% of all households in the country are caring for an ill loved one, usually a parent 55 years of age or older. These loved ones either need full-time caregiving, daily assistance for everyday tasks or somewhere in between. About 40% of caregivers in this country work outside the home so this means they are sacrificing their free, relaxation time to care for a loved one and are even losing quality time with their spouse and children. Work productivity goes down because of time off from the job to devote to caregiving, a reduction of hours or even having to quit altogether. This leads to loss of income and less money being invested in their retirements. You may be part of this group who is playing juggler too. While there is legal acts like the Family Medical Leave Act which helps keep your job secure (if unpaid) when you need to take time off to tend to the caregiving of a loved one.

If you are a juggler and feeling increasingly tired of all the obligations, there is a wealth of community resources available to help you in your quest to provide the best care possible for your loved one. From casual arrangements with neighbors, family and friends to structured care in nursing facilities, there are many options available to you.

Assessing your Loved One’s Caregiving Needs

Examine your daily schedule to see where you need help the most when caring for your loved one. Is it while you are at work? Perhaps you have obligations in the evenings with your kids and need help during that time. Know up front what you need before enlisting help. Also, you need to consider what type of care your loved one will need. Do they need 24-hour supervision due to dementia? Can they get around in the home and just need help with errands and transportation? Do you need other around the clock nursing care?

Once you have an idea of the type of care your loved one needs as well as the scheduling, consult with your loved one’s insurance company to see what type of coverage is available for nursing, caregiving and other  services. Long-term care insurance is usually not included in most regular health plans so you may have to see what you could afford to supplement the caregiving.

Finding those Resources

When your caregiving and that of friends and other family is not quite enough, you can turn to community resources to fill in the gaps. From in-home care to just daily visits from a home care companion, there are a number of options – and some even offer transportation so your work day is not interrupted.

In-home care is usually contracted through an agency, particularly if your loved one is dealing with an ailment that requires constant care or specialized training from a nurse or licensed medical attendant. There are agencies you can go through if you are hiring a companion for your loved one or you could even put an ad in the paper and interview candidates.

Adult day cares are an option if you must work and need a daily outlet for your loved one. These day cares offer everything from specialized care for dementia patients to activities such as games, crafts, exercise and more. Some programs serve lunch and some don’t while others may have pick-up to and from the home.

When you can no longer handle the caregiving duties on your own, there are nursing and assisted living facilities, depending on the level of care needed as well as group homes when 24-hour specialized care is needed. You must evaluate your situation from the health of your loved one to what you can and cannot handle care-wise. Finances and insurance are also issues that must be dealt with. If you can plan ahead with your loved one before they get sick or develop some type of impairment, it will be much better for you later when you have to deal with it.

Acting as a caregiver is never an easy task, but if the patient you are looking after has dementia, it becomes an even more difficult burden. Patients with dementia often cannot be left alone, and you have to worry not only about taking care of their health but also their safety. Plus, as the dementia worsens, the patient will become and more and more difficult to communicate with, and their mood swings can be distressing. If you find yourself in the position of caring for someone with dementia, learning to understand their condition and how to communicate with them as effectively as possible is critical for both of you. This will help the patient get what they need and will help lighten the load that you are carrying. Here are some tips to keep in mind when you are faced with a loved one with dementia.

First, know that the unspoken communication signals you use are as important as the words you choose. Sometimes, a patient with dementia may have a difficult time understanding your exact meaning, which can be alarming to them. However, if you use a calm tone of voice and maintain a friendly expression, even if your message is not getting across, the fact that you’re trying to be helpful and positive will. Losing your temper and raising your voice will escalate a bad situation and can be extremely unnerving for the patient – not to mention the fact that you will feel guilty afterwards. If you don’t think you can maintain your composure at any given moment, wait until later to deliver the message you need to deliver.

Of course, if you want to be understood, it helps if there is nothing else competing for the patient’s attention. Focus is a tremendous issue with dementia, and if you are trying to talk to the patient while you are also watching TV, playing music or anything else distracting, you are unlikely to be able to get your point across. Keep things calm and quiet to make talking easier.

When the patient tries to respond to you, keep an eye on their nonverbal communication. It’s very common for a person with dementia to mix up their words, or to struggle to come up with any words at all, but you may be able to help them get their own point across if you pay attention to their behavior. Do they seem alarmed? If you’ve asked them to make a decision about something, can they point at what they want? Do everything you can to help them make themselves understood.

Your response also matters. If you’ve asked a question, if the patient can’t answer you or if they give you an answer that doesn’t make sense in relation to the question that you have asked, be calm. Judge the situation and decide if you should ask another way or wait until later. Never argue with a person who has dementia. Physical affection is important here as well. A hug can calm a patient down, let them know they are safe, and in turn help them communicate better.

Last but not least, remember to keep it simple and clear. You may need to find a new way of talking when you’re dealing with a patient with dementia. It is in our nature to pepper our sentences with pronouns and slang terms, but this can confuse a person suffering from dementia. Call everyone and everything but its proper name so the patient is not left guessing and use visual aids and clues when possible. Communication will always be a challenge for caregivers and dementia patients, but the right approach can make a potentially extremely stressful prospect much easier to manage.

Emergencies can crop up regarding a loved one, particularly if there is a sudden illness or health issue that renders that loved one incapable of caring for themselves. While you may not need to quit your job to set up caregiving for your loved one, you will likely need some time off to initially care for your loved one, assess the situation and make plans accordingly. You might feel concerned about your job and whether you cannot take off for any length of time.

The good news is that the United States government passed the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) back in 1993 which provide employees who find themselves in a caregiving role the assistance they need to juggle not only their livelihood but also the care of their loved ones. The FMLA basically ensures that you cannot lose your job based on the need to care for a loved one. Of course, this act does not work to save your job forever but allows employees to take up to 12 weeks of leave unpaid from the hob without fear of repercussions.

Please note that the FMLA does not guarantee any pay during these 12 weeks and it is between you and the employer about whether or not you receive any pay. It may be based on the amount of sick leave, vacation time and/or personal time off (PTO) hours you may have accrued. If you have any of these built up, it could end up providing you with some income during your time off. Again, the payment arrangement is solely between you and your employers as the FMLA only guarantees that you cannot lose your job due to taking off to take care of a loved one.

With all good deeds like the FMLA, there is a down side to it as well. It does not protect all employees in the country. Therefore, not everyone has the opportunity to take advantage of it. Employers who are bound by the FMLA must be an entity affecting or conducting business or commerce. They must have at least 50 employees working at any given time during the course of a normal business week and also during the previous 20 plus calendared working business weeks. Subsidiaries or entities that are smaller than 50 employees but are affiliated or part of a larger entity also fall under the auspices of the FMLA.

There are some exceptions to entities with fewer than 50 employees and they include any public, local, state or government office and public as well as private secondary and elementary schools. If you do not fall within any of these scenarios, you may not be covered to take off from work with a guarantee to return to a job. Small business owners under 50 employees are not bound by the FMLA so you might have to negotiate with them in order to receive time off for caregiving.

Other things of note to consider with the FMLA is how an employer determines a 12-month period since the act states you can request up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave during one 12-month time. An employer can simply follow a 12 month calendar year which is the simplest or even follow their company’s fiscal 12 month year or even a 12 month period starting on your anniversary date. In addition, the 12-month period could be on the first day of when your FMLA leave period starts or even based on a rolling 12 month time frame that is gauged by counting backward from the date you use the leave for FMLA.

As you can see, there are quite a few things to check so do not always assume you fall within the guidelines. While you may not be able to put off your caregiving duties, at least by knowing your eligibility, you can negotiate with your employer about the necessary time off you need to care for your loved one.

The role of caregiver is a timeless occupation but the name is a rather modern phrase. Broken down, the word “care” means the treatment or attention received when in need and the word “giver” refers to someone who provides an object or service. Put together and “caregiver” means someone who provides nurturing attention and treatment in response to a need. When put like this, almost everyone could be a caregiver. A child is the caregiver of their pet while mom or dad is the caregiver of the children, providing food and clothing. However, caregiver predominantly refers an adult who provides treatment and attention to a loved one who is in health distress.

Caregiving typically starts slowly with you possibly running your loved one to the store or doctor so they don’t have to drive. This role morphs into larger responsibilities such as taking over bill paying and other financial aspects. As health and mental capacity declines, you (the caregiver) end up providing help with personal tasks such as toilet trips, grooming, assistance in eating and more.

The only way to avoid being a caregiver in any way is to have no ties with anyone, having no one to depend on you. Usually, this doesn’t happen so at some point, you will be a caregiver to someone (or even something). Luckily, if you are new to the whole “being responsible for someone else” thing, there are resources you can tap into for help. You just have to know where to start looki

If you find yourself starting to stop by your loved one’s home more often to cut their lawn or clean their house, you are a caregiver. When you play chauffeur and take them out so they do not have to drive, you are a caregiver. Moving your loved one into your home to avoid placing them in a nursing home means you are a caregiver.

While you may do a lot for your loved one, you can still always use more help in the caregiving process as you will need a break at some point. You can look to 24 hour respite care or even part-time companionship. Other family members can help in the caregiving process too. For more serious health conditions, hospice care may be available. Even if you cannot be with your loved one 24/7, you are still the caregiver because you are finding every avenue possible to ensure they are cared for and treated well.

There are a number of parts in the caregiving process but the most common ones are assisting in showering or bathing as well as grooming. Aid in dressing and going to the bathroom are also near the top of the list of things your loved one would likely need the most help with. Chores that need mental acuity such as taking medications at the right dosage and time or paying bills on time play a big part too.

Did you know that a little more than half of all adults who need care are seniors over 65 years of age? That is quite mind-boggling! Of that number, only a small percentage stays in a nursing facility or some other type of institutional care. This means there are many adult caregivers out there who perform tasks for a loved one for just a few hours a week to full time in-house care. These figures say many people do not realize they are caregivers. They believe they are just doing their familial duty. Just ask yourself – do you do anything for your loved one that takes care of some need? If the answer is yes then you are a caregiver. It’s that simple.

So, are you a caregiver?