Making the decision to move an elderly parent in with you is not one to jump into lightly. There are many things to consider including how your parent feels about the whole situation. You would be making drastic changes to your lifestyle as would your family. The family dynamic and roles will change causing tension and worry.

The decision to be your parent’s caregiver inside your own home is not always clear cut. First of all, you need to decide (with your parent) whether or not there are intermediate steps to take before making the big leap. Could you afford a caregiver to live with your parent? Can your parent even live alone safely? How comfortable do you feel with the role reversal? There are many things to consider first. Here are some questions that may crop up in the course of making that caregiving decision:

The Family Dynamic

First of all, many aging parents may feel they do not need any help and might resist moving in with you. How are you planning to talk with them about it? You need to be prepared with a list of reasons why they can no longer live alone. Also, your family will be changed as well if a parent moves in with you. How will your ailing parent integrate with your family? How will your spouse and kids feel and in what way will their lives change? You will need to talk with your family to even see if moving your parent in is the right thing for everyone involved.

You need your own personal time and space but how will you get them with a parent to take care of in your home? What would your limits be in caring for your ailing parent before a nursing becomes the better choice? How dependent will the parent be on you beyond the food and shelter and can you fulfill those responsibilities? Will any siblings feel resentful if you are the one taking care of your parent?

Modifying your Living Space

When the decision to move a parent in to your home comes into play, do you have any idea where to put them? Will one of your family members be displaced from their room and cause resentment? Can a spare room, home office or den be converted successfully for your parent? Would building an addition to the home be possible so no one loses their personal space? How about home modifications for any assistive devices? Would you have to build a wheelchair ramp, install special door knobs or railings?

Consider the “baggage” your parent will be bringing with them. Can you handle their yapping lap dog or precious kitty? Could you handle questionable personal behaviors such as smoking or drinking? What about having friends over? Can you handle your parent’s many friends coming over to visit?

Time and Money

Time and money are other aspects to consider when your parent moves in so you can care for them. How do you handle your finances as well as theirs? Should they offer to pay some rent or contribute to groceries? What should be the division of expenses? How will other family members such as your siblings feel about the financial aspect? Will you have to change jobs, reduce your work hours or quit all together to serve as caregiver to your parent?

If you do have to work, how will your parent care for themselves during the day? Will you hire a companion? Do you have any inkling on how you plan to juggle your needs, that of your spouse and kids in addition to your parent? How will the division of labor be spread out?

Other Considerations

Some parental caregiving may require with personal issues. Could you handle spoon feeding your parent? What about bathing them or changing their diaper should they have incontinence? Do you know what to expect in regards to your parent’s health and what to do in an emergency? Would you be able to take care of yourself so that you do not burn out serving as caregiver? If you need time to yourself, are you willing to hire a nurse or someone for respite care?

You have got to look before you leap into any situation regarding proving parental caregiving in your own home. There is not just one party (your parent) to think of but many, so delving into all of those questions above will help you make your decision.

The role of caregiver is a timeless occupation but the name is a rather modern phrase. Broken down, the word “care” means the treatment or attention received when in need and the word “giver” refers to someone who provides an object or service. Put together and “caregiver” means someone who provides nurturing attention and treatment in response to a need. When put like this, almost everyone could be a caregiver. A child is the caregiver of their pet while mom or dad is the caregiver of the children, providing food and clothing. However, caregiver predominantly refers an adult who provides treatment and attention to a loved one who is in health distress.

Caregiving typically starts slowly with you possibly running your loved one to the store or doctor so they don’t have to drive. This role morphs into larger responsibilities such as taking over bill paying and other financial aspects. As health and mental capacity declines, you (the caregiver) end up providing help with personal tasks such as toilet trips, grooming, assistance in eating and more.

The only way to avoid being a caregiver in any way is to have no ties with anyone, having no one to depend on you. Usually, this doesn’t happen so at some point, you will be a caregiver to someone (or even something). Luckily, if you are new to the whole “being responsible for someone else” thing, there are resources you can tap into for help. You just have to know where to start looki

If you find yourself starting to stop by your loved one’s home more often to cut their lawn or clean their house, you are a caregiver. When you play chauffeur and take them out so they do not have to drive, you are a caregiver. Moving your loved one into your home to avoid placing them in a nursing home means you are a caregiver.

While you may do a lot for your loved one, you can still always use more help in the caregiving process as you will need a break at some point. You can look to 24 hour respite care or even part-time companionship. Other family members can help in the caregiving process too. For more serious health conditions, hospice care may be available. Even if you cannot be with your loved one 24/7, you are still the caregiver because you are finding every avenue possible to ensure they are cared for and treated well.

There are a number of parts in the caregiving process but the most common ones are assisting in showering or bathing as well as grooming. Aid in dressing and going to the bathroom are also near the top of the list of things your loved one would likely need the most help with. Chores that need mental acuity such as taking medications at the right dosage and time or paying bills on time play a big part too.

Did you know that a little more than half of all adults who need care are seniors over 65 years of age? That is quite mind-boggling! Of that number, only a small percentage stays in a nursing facility or some other type of institutional care. This means there are many adult caregivers out there who perform tasks for a loved one for just a few hours a week to full time in-house care. These figures say many people do not realize they are caregivers. They believe they are just doing their familial duty. Just ask yourself – do you do anything for your loved one that takes care of some need? If the answer is yes then you are a caregiver. It’s that simple.

So, are you a caregiver?